Faith restored

Faith restored

A cousin was speaking with me yesterday and she told me she was in London last weekend, with her two young sons, to visit her sister and family.  They went for a day trip to London and travelled on a number of trains and by underground.  Later in the evening, her younger son told her he’d lost his phone.  He was upset as was she.  Not life or death, of course, but she’d prefer if it had not been lost and felt upset for her son.  They reported the missing phone via an on-line app but she held out little hope.

The next morning she noticed a missed call on her phone and a text.  It read something like “I found a phone and I think it may belong to a member of your family”.  She called and the person on the other end of the call told her that he’d found the phone the night before.  Its battery had run flat so he plugged it in to charge it.  When power came back, he noticed it was locked but on the screen there were some words “MISSED CALL MAM” and her number.  Hence the contact.  She thanked him and said “Red or White?”  He was confused and asked what she meant.  She said she wanted to thank him and wondered did he like red or white wine.  “Neither”, he replied “I’m seventeen”.  Seventeen!

In today’s gospel, Thomas was doubtful about Christ’s resurrection and insisted on what was needed for proof.  Later, when offered that proof, he no longer required it: “My Lord and my God”, he said.  His faith in “Divinity” was restored.  My storyteller told me that her experience from last weekend had restored her faith in “humanity”.  It’s good to have faith restored.

I thought about that lad afterwards and what it was that made him contact my cousin?  There were other options.  Though the phone was locked, he could have had it unlocked and sold it or kept it for himself.  He could have sold it to a friend and made a quick profit for himself.  He could have dumped it.  He opted for none of these but called the number of a person he felt would be able to restore it to its rightful owner.  He did the decent and right thing.  I wondered was it the word “MAM” that struck a chord with him?  Could he imagine his own mother calling him or worrying for him if he lost something?  Whatever the reason, he did the right thing.

That’s where we’re at, I think – a place and world full of choices, choices we meet on a daily basis and the choice can quite often be between right and wrong?  There’s something in this story, as I hear it and tell it, about opting for the right – opting for the good.  Something about restoring faith in humanity and Divinity.

Choices!

Why didn’t you go in?

Why didn’t you go in?

(A brother reflects on a decision …… A thought around The Prodigal Son)

It’s a fair question! I don’t know. And maybe I do for there was jealousy at work.

Yes he had gone away and left us all in the lurch. Yes he had eaten into my father’s property but there was more to it than that.

I resented him, not just because he had gone away but more-so because he came back.  At least when he was gone, I had my father’s ear and could impress him with all the work I did around the place.

Strange that, for though I had his ear, I knew his mind wandered to where the brother was and how he was   doing.  I knew his heart was broken and that part of him died that day he watched him fade into the distance

That said, he never ignored me or made me feel he didn’t love me  deeply but I couldn’t get my head around the fact that he still missed “the waster” as I called him.  There was no denying it though, my father was heart-broken.

There were times when I missed him too of course.  I wondered what he was doing and who he was with. That’s when I let my mind wander and I wrote stories in my head that most likely weren’t real at all.  I imagined him with women, getting drunk “letting the family down” and it never crossed my mind that he was sitting alone and hungry, surrounded by pigs who ate what he’d have  eaten “though nobody offered him anything”.

It’s strange the way we write novels in our heads about other people and never, even for a second, try to get into their hearts or allow their hurt touch ours.

There was part of me that doubted always that he’d come back.  For my father’s sake, I hoped he would, because it was heart-breaking to see him stand and look to the distance and though he never said what he was looking for, I knew exactly not the “what” but the “who” for whom he longed. My brother.

And despite that, I couldn’t share my father’s joy when someone told me “your brother is back”.  The stuff about the “fatted calf” and the celebrations weren’t a concern to me but I just couldn’t bring myself to rise above my small-mindedness and see the bigger picture.  We were “family again”.

When my father asked me to join the celebrations, I couldn’t do it.  I’ve regretted that so often because I knew it’s what my father wanted more than anything. “All I have is yours” he told me and he meant it. He never denied me anything.

I’m haunted, haunted by that moment.   I should have gone in …..

 

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