Was saddened today to hear the news of the death of Big Tom McBride. May he rest in peace. A long-time friend of my family – especially to my brother Gerard – it’s as if he was always there. He had a unique singing voice and the sound, especially the sound associated with his Mainliners and Travellers band, had a tone of its own. That, at least, will live on and I’m sure will get many spins in days, weeks, months and years to come.
Back in 2001 we had a festival down on the shores of Lough Gara. We called it “Flock to The Lough” and at a planning meeting I suggested we might ask Big Tom to come and perform there. A suggestion taken on board and a phonecall later, it was in train. He absolutely packed the place that night and the sound bouncing off the surface of Lough Gara is a lasting memory. It paved the way for a few more “Flock to The Loughs” but his willingness to come and play on the shores of a lake in a packed marquee, gave courage when it was needed. A happy memory!
His songs, typically country in many ways, told stories and some of them, in keeping with the genre, sad stories. He told them, through song, in a convincing way. The last time I heard him sing live was ironically in Templeronan Cemetery on the day my father, Bill, was buried. Tom and Rose were there. My brothers had a desire to fill in the grave and while it was being filled, we said the Rosary and the filling was still taking place when we finished. I looked over to Big Tom and asked if he’d sing something. He did. He sang “Where we’ll never grow old” and it’s a moment – as I think of it now – on the opposite shore of the same Lough Gara, that I will never forget.
The last time I saw him was in late January on the day his beloved Rose was laid to rest in the grounds of their local church. The big man was at a big loss that day and looked so sad and it wasn’t difficult to see him following her. I’ve seen that many times in life. It’s a sign of something running very deep and something very real. It is love. I had truly hoped to meet him again and the chance of that happening this month was very real. Alas, that’s not the case anymore.
“Don’t forget to give my love to Rose” was one of his songs. Made famous by Johnny Cash, I’ve no doubt for Tom it had a special meaning and his “Rose” was very real to him. May they both rest in the togetherness they lived – in peace and in love in God’s presence.
In the coming days, I’m sure many people will have and discuss their own memories of Big Tom and that’s the way we cope with loss. Jesus knew that when he asked his “disciples” on the Emmaus Road, “What matters are you discussing as you walk along?” He gave them the chance to talk, remember and come to a deeper truth. For Tom’s family, fans and countless friends, may that conversation and journey take place as well.
Watched a documentary on Johnny Cash the other evening. It was called “Hello, I’m Johnny Cash”. It was very good. I liked one piece where Kris Kristofferson talked about Johnny singing one of his songs “Sunday Morning Coming Down” and that the producers of the show wanted him to substitute a word they did not think acceptable. Cash asked Kris what he thought and Kris said the other word suggested did not have the same meaning. He left the choice to Cash …..
I just recorded this with phone so video quality not great but the message is clear and I love Kris’ rendition. I cut the recording before realising Kris had something else to say about the lines he had just sung … “Well, I guess that could have been sung worse but I don’t know by who …..”
I think Kris does a good job on his own song … here he sings it at a tribute concert in memory of Johnny Cash.
Earlier today I had a Wedding Mass. Shortly before the Mass I met a couple whose Wedding Mass I celebrated just over two years ago. I asked them what I should say to the couple. The wife said I should tell them to “Never loose the spark. To talk always and to arrange a DATE NIGHT, once a month, where they can go out together, be alone with no mobiles or distractions and just be together”. I looked at the husband, “Well?” I asked. “Tell him to get a good pair of ear plugs! And don’t ever talk about the in-laws, it always ends up badly!”
I told them I’d share this with the couple getting married. I don’t think they believed me but share it I did. As I hoped, people laughed but, in fairness there was something in it I suppose. The need to keep communication and excitement alive in the relationship and also, maybe at times, to close your ears to things that might lead to conflict or difficulty.
I went on to say that I also wanted to share a second thought. I called to a house where an elderly lady had dropped dead. Her husband was devastated. He told me that he’d never forget her and though he had great neighbours and family, nobody would ever replace his wife. “We were great friends”, he told me “and we knew each others’ ways.” I have never forgotten this nor the look in his eyes as he spoke these words to me. She died on their 42nd Wedding Anniversary and to be able to say after four and more decades that your wife is “your best friend” has to be as good as it gets.
Between the advice of the two year couple and the witness of the 42 year couple, I think there was something for my wedding couple today.
Maybe there’s something for us all. That’s the thought …. be grateful for the friend who knows your ways and is still your friend.
This is a photo of Alpha – my dog and “good friend”! I’m not sure about him being my best friend but we get on fairly well most of the time. The little caption isn’t really as much to do with the photograph as maybe a bit of advice for the day – sometimes we might do well to let sleeping dogs lie. Digging up, rooting out, dwelling on bad memories or feelings may serve only to hurt us and others in the long run. The sleeping dog has his place.
A second thought around dogs …. It’s not original but heard a man speak once about the Religious Examiner visiting a school. The teacher relied heavily on three girls in the class to answer any questions of a religious nature and knew that any of them would be well able to meet, head on, any issues the priest might care to surface. She wasn’t ready for the priest’s selection though and he turned to a young lad in the class called Tony and asked him to stand up. The teacher feared the worst and remembered Tony, on another occasion, finding “four” Gods in the Trinity. Just as the priest began to speak, Tony made reference to the dog he could see on the front seat of the priest’s car. The story goes that the priest left aside his text book, looked at Tony and asked “Did Jesus have a dog Tony”. “No”, came the reply “because if he had it would have been with him on Calvary”.
We’re told the boy went home with the prize for the best answer. The three girls went home feeling there was “no justice in religion”.
Tony was on the button – the “friend” in the dog would have brought him to Calvary.
The thought for today – how far will we travel for our friends?
Happy Birthday Bill – my father would have been 96 today. May he rest in peace!
In today’s Gospel, there’s mention of pomp and ceremony. To be more accurate about people who get caught up in pomp and ceremony.
Sadly, truth told, we priests can get caught up in this a bit more than necessary. I heard of a priest once speaking to a group of priests and he talked about titles. He mentioned a group of priest friends out playing golf together – “Great shot Mick”. “Ah well done Peter” etc and the next day writing to each other:
“The Very Rev Michael Canon ….. whatever, PP.VF …..”
He concluded his comments with “who are we trying to impress lads, the postman?!!
It’s wider than Church of course. We can get overly caught up in titles and what we perceive to be our rightful place – our entitlement.
Maybe the thought for today is around “keeping it simple”. Keeping it simple doesn’t mean making it any less important – just that we keep the focus where it needs to be.
Now where did I leave my broader phylactery???
(actually I just googled to see what is a phylactery … a leather pouch worn by Jewish people at Morning Prayer to remind them of the Law. In itself, of course a good thing, the Lord’s issue was about the phylacteries becoming the story in themselves.)
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