Words unfinished …

Words unfinished …

I was telling them at Mass today that I went to bed last night feeling a bit mad with myself – disappointed, I suppose.

I had a Funeral and Wedding yesterday and thought I had arranged cover for Evening Mass in one of the churches but there must have been some mix-up, almost certainly on my side, and nobody turned up for Mass.  I got a phone call at the wedding reception.  Thankfully a neighbouring priest was able to oblige me and arrived for Mass, a bit late but thankfully people had waited on.  I was sorry this happened but that was not the main reason I went to bed feeling a bit less than happy with myself!

At the reception, I said a few words and wanted to acknowledge a brother of the groom.  I haven’t met him in possibly thirty years and hadn’t seen him yesterday either but had hoped to meet him.  I mentioned him in the few words and realised that he was not in the room at the time so what I had hoped to do got a bit mixed up in my mind.

When I was ordained I was asked by the bishop to teach religion one day a week in a local Vocational School.  I realised early enough, most likely even before I started, that teaching was not my greatest talent!!  I had never wanted to be a teacher and was very happy to be in a parish (and have always been happy about that).  In any case I gave it a go and hoped that being just twenty-four years of age, that my youthfulness would connect me with the students, some of whom were scarcely six years younger than I was at the time and, even the youngest not much more that ten years younger than I.  I was wrong!!

I had some lovely times there but often worried about the effectiveness of my classes and my attempts to share the faith with a younger generation.  I taught, I think, six classes in the day – from First Years to students taking a Secretarial Course.  In hindsight it may well have been too much and my subject matter was quite likely not on the radar of teenagers who were enjoying life and, in many ways, finding themselves.  Chances are, so was I but maybe none of us realised that.

Back to my intentions of yesterday.  I wanted to remind this young man that I remembered him from those days as someone who showed zero interest in my class and no matter how much I tried to make it interesting, I failed constantly to get him to engage.  He was not awkward in any way, just removed from any space I might be occupying at the time.  That’s not what made him stand out for me!

In the evenings, when I’d leave the school and glad that the day was over, I’d turn my car for home and this lad would be waiting at the gate for me to give him a lift home.  I did. In the car, he’d talk freely to me about his interests (which were many and varied), about his family and about himself.  He was a pure delight to be with.  The journey would pass quickly and I’d be truly glad of his company.  The first few times this happened, I thought we’d made real progress and that he’d be more connected with me in class.  Alas!!  Same story.  The lifts continued, the chats too but no rousing enthusiasm displayed itself in class.

I remember a few times being fed up (not just because of him but maybe with my own failings) and I came out the school gate to see him there and, instead of turning left, which was the homewards direction for us both, I turned right!  I wasn’t going anywhere just fed up!!  Thankfully that didn’t happen very often but it did happen.

I said all this but I didn’t say what I had most wanted to say.  That I regretted those days I turned right and that I am thankful to him for teaching me a lesson that I failed to grasp.  He could make a distinction between the teacher in the classroom and the travelling companion in the car.  He could be himself with me when, on his own, but maybe felt less free to be so when surrounded by others in a room where to show interest in religion might not be cool or do much for your cred.  He was, quite likely much freer in himself than I was.  I wanted to thank him for that and to let him know that all these years later I remember him when I’ve forgotten many and, undoubtedly, many have forgotten me.

But I didn’t say that and, only on the way home in the car, did I realise I left unfinished what I wanted to say.  I wanted to let him know he made difference in my life and maybe helped me to realise we meet people where they are and accept them too.  I had also hoped to mention a priest, sitting at the other end of the wedding table, who had been to me what I tried to be to that lad – a teacher but one who deeply influenced me and, in many ways, put shape on my thoughts around being a priest.

So, thanks Jason and thanks Tommy!

Now it’s said!!


I told them this today at Sunday Masses because this is the Feast Day of The Holy Family and I wanted to remind them (and me) that as family and friends, we should try always not to leave words unfinished but say what needs to be said for the good of the family and the blessing of our friendships.

 

Sunrise to Sunset

Sunrise to Sunset

This morning, when I opened the blinds I was pleased to see the sun rising through the bared branches of Winter trees.  It was not the first time I had seen this but it never fails to take me by surprise for there is something very reassuring about the sun and its ability to bring warmth to the day.  So often we waken to grey and dull skies so I am more than happy to welcome the sun when it makes such a glorious appearance.

From the rising of the sun

I had Masses in Kilmovee and Kilkelly and was mindful of the starkness of today’s Gospel that speaks to the final day.  It is a day that cannot be avoided and one that calls us to be prepared.

I decided to share a story that I heard during the week.  I got it one of those WhatsApp messages that sometimes you delete but sometimes too find thought-provoking!  This one fell into that category.

THE STORY

A small boy named Roger lived in the local village. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Roger!”

One day Roger’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a difficult boy to teach in her entire teaching career.

The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school and even moved to another town.

Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have open heart surgery, which only one surgeon could perform.  Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful.

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.  She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!

The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw Roger, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover!

Don’t tell me you thought that Roger became a  doctor!

Part of me realises that this story is, in so many ways, politically incorrect but the part of me that switches that button marked “laughter” kicked in and I laughed.  The story stayed with me and I shared it at the Masses this weekend.  Thankfully my switch was not on its own and people laughed.  I so love the sound of laughter because it is the anti-dote to so much negativity and pain.

I told them that I was happy they laughed because I believe in laughter and, that as we hear the bleakness of the Gospel message that so desperately needs to call us to attentiveness, that if we could leave this world feeling we had helped people laugh and find a tune to hum or a song to sing, we would leave it in a good place and could happily face that call “home”.  On the other hand, should it be the case that we have made life difficult for people and, in any way added to their pain or made life difficult for them we may well need to reassess our attitudes and approach to life.

I know it’s not as simple as telling a joke but life need not be overly complicated either.  There is a balance there that can be found and utilised.

Later in the day I prayed the Rosary with people in two of our Parish Cemeteries and, in between that was present for the turning of the sod at the local GAA pitch for the building of a new stand.  I was struck by the need to break ground to build and make something new and felt the link there with the graves around which we prayed today.  Earth had to be broken there too, that something new might be built for those in whose memory we gathered.

I watched a few episodes of a show on Netflix and later this evening saw the sun on the other side of my house as it prepared to say goodbye to our day.  I remembered some of the people I had met and spoken with during the day, recalled the new Altar Servers at Mass in Kilkelly and was glad they chose to be there.  I met good people and realised that sunshine is a wonderful backdrop to the day – even if we only remember it!

Do you know something?  I felt happy that it had been a good day – between sunrise and sunset.

To its setting

“It’s my birthday ….” (Mr Bean)

“It’s my birthday ….” (Mr Bean)

Today is my birthday!  I’m a year now for every week of the year 🙂  Thinking of Mary and Bill (R.I.P.) and thankful they gave me the gift of life.  Thankful too, for family and friends – to those who got in touch today – and to all who give me the reason “to be”.

I spoke a while ago with some friends in Washington and they asked “did you do anything special for your birthday?”  My initial answer was “no” but that’s not altogether the case.  I spoke and spent time with people that matter to me, celebrated Mass in the parish (three times this weekend) and witnessed faith and goodness in action.

It’s difficult at times to realise life is moving at such a pace. Though decades have passed, I feel pretty much the same as I ever felt and am, in the main, content with life.  There are certainly times I wish I could say I was doing better work. I read a few pieces from Pope Francis this week and he spoke about not “leaving Jesus in the Church” but bringing him with us into day to day life and situations.  I sometimes wonder how I’m doing with that.  He also talked about reaching out to those who have “lapsed” from the Faith and, again, I question my success in that regard.

So then, if you’re reading this today (or in the days to come), say a little prayer for me that in the coming year I might prove more effective in this regard.

Thanks to all of you for your kindness and your prayers.  I can only hope you know how much I appreciate, acknowledge and, above all, need them.

So, let’s share Mr Bean’s Birthday moment …. I’ll read my cards and texts again 🙂

 

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