This is my father Bill (R.I.P.) and one of my favourite photos of him. He didn’t even know that I took it but I’m glad I did and, even more glad, of the story behind it. He’s sitting opposite me in a Black Taxi and we have just left the Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh. Just a few days earlier he told me that his father and grandfather had both worked there. I’d not known that and he mentioned it because we were going to a wedding in Edinburgh. The day after the wedding, we went to the Botanical Gardens – my father and mother – God rest both of them – and an aunt.
As we drove away, I looked at my father who seemed to be looking into the distance. I once heard of a “room called remember” and I like to think that’s where he was looking. There’s something about him remembering his father and grandfather and being happy to have spent time where they worked, literally walking the ground they walked. I felt he was happy he had done that – being able to do that. I was happy too. It’s one of those days I can look back on and feel I got it right and did the right thing. A good day!
We are marking “Fathers’ Day” today and somehow this memory came to life for me again. It is shared here because I would encourage all of you to do something for your father this weekend or as soon as you can. I’m not talking about buying something – for sure, do that if you wish – but there’s more to this day, more to the relationship between father and child than the scent of aftershave or a few scratch cards.
Maybe the only thing we truly need to spend is “time”. Time with and time for. Time repaid for all that has been done for you. Time to talk and listen. Time to walk or sit. Time to be a son again, a daughter again, and allow him be “father”. Maybe it’s a place he wants to go and just have a look around. Maybe it’s a place you’ve gone to before and enjoyed. Do it again.
A few years ago, I mentioned my father on Father’s Day and a woman said to me afterwards: “That was wonderful” and she added, “give them flowers while they can still smell them.!”