Alone and hoping
I really don’t know how many people read this. I do know that my “blog” is not the beginning and end of all blogs and that, in the wider scale of things, it has a minuscule part to play. Still I enjoy it and the chance it gives to share a few thoughts. I know these might reach more on FACEBOOK or something like that but, I like this little corner. Thanks to those who come in and ramble from time to time.
It is not easy to know what to think, never mind say. A week ago today, I was at a meeting with Fr Dermot Meehan, Diocesan Administrator, and some priests of our diocese. We met to discuss how the diocese might respond to the COVID-19 outbreak and, more importantly, how it might help stem the spread. Other dioceses had taken the hard decision to suspend the celebration of Public Masses in parishes, not just on Sundays but also weekdays. As we met, it was likely we would make the same decision but it was not an easy one to contemplate, let alone make. One of the men present has celebrated daily Mass for close on fifty years and I could see in him a genuine sadness as he began to contemplate, like the rest of us, the possibility we would not be celebrating Mass with people for the immediate and, indeed, foreseeable future. The decision was made and the message shared as quickly and fully as possible, firstly with our priests and then through media and website. It was a sad moment but, maybe like Jesus in Gethsemane, a necessary one too because we had to face towards Calvary and the countless crosses being carried by people at this time.
On Sunday morning I stood before the Altar in Kilmovee Parish Church. This would be the only Mass celebrated in the parish that weekend, when normally I would have four – two vigil Masses and two on Sunday – one each in Urlaur, Glann, Kilmovee and Kilkelly. I took a photo of an empty church and me wearing the purple vestments for Mass. The first picture I took, shocked me. My face looked so sad and I thought I need to do this again. The second picture (above) was an attempt to smile without pretending I was over the moon with delight. For I was not. My heart was broken, to be honest, and I wondered how long this would last. I didn’t know then and neither do I know now. What I knew was that faces, familiar and important to me, were not there. No Altar Servers, having discussed at length who would do what. No readers or Ministers of Holy Communion and an empty gallery. The regulars were not there or the weekend visitors. Just me!
As I walked out to say Mass I left my phone on the shelf in the sacristy and then thought maybe I should bring it with me and record the Mass. I did, and am so glad I did. In recording, I felt I was speaking to people and sharing God’s word and hopes for them. After Mass I put the recording on our parish website and have done the same each day since. No more than not knowing how many will read these lines, I am not sure how many listen but some responded and said it helped them. I’m glad of that.
A week on now and no end in sight, I really don’t know what to say or think. COVID-19 has punched way above its weight and what seemed so far away a few weeks ago is now in every moment of every day. The world has truly become that “Global Village” people speak of and what happens on the streets of Barcelona or Boston, Shanghai or Sydney, Dublin or Dubai is all of concern to us. We are truly frightened and vulnerable and isolation seems anything but social.
We need courage! We need faith. We need hope and we need love. We need to mind one another and to allow ourselves be minded. We need to realise that decisions taken have impacts and mistakes made have consequences. There remains though, a real need to be able to trust – trust God and one another. To have trust is maybe the gift we most need – trust that this hour, these days, weeks or months, will pass and that peace and health will be restored.
“They are the best years of your life”, people used to tell us about school when we were children. “Yeah, right”, we might think but surely now we recognise the truth in those words. Children should be able to enjoy the classroom and school yard where lessons are learned for and about life. We look forward to the day when the sound of the school bell will be a welcome sound.
I look forward to hearing the servers decide who is doing what, I look forward to people rather than empty seats and the sound of a choir and congregation, rather than the echo of my solitary voice. Please know, that I will use that voice to ask God to bless and protect all of us and to give us courage for this time. I have been so pleased to walk into the churches of the parish and see there the signs of ongoing prayer – candles burning in the shrines, that gives me such amazing hope.
Maybe that’s enough for now … at least I found a few words and when I sat here I didn’t think I would . We will find our words, all of us, and they might well prove to be words of kindness and appreciation, of gratitude and giving – words of faith.
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Keep writing Vincent.. your words help so many.
Wonderful Fr Vincent Thank you
Fr. V…..We share in your mass each day with you,…Thank you !…..We will all come through these difficult tmes with Faith & Prayer……..St Patrick’s Rock brings back memories of home !…….God Bless K & R
Father, you write very well and I enjoyed the read. But here’s the question what has happened to our Faith, that’s a question I keep asking, my sister in Kent phoned me today and asked the same question and she can still get Mass and Holy Communion. There was a time when we would turn to God when we had a problem what have we done this time we have turned away from God. We have denied the faithful the solace of the blessed Sacrament, maybe.it is the right thing but the harder I think about it the more wrong it feels. I don’t blame the priests but I do think we could be making an effort.in some way. Internet Mass is no substitute for being in the presence of God in His house.
Stephen,
Sent DM but maybe I should respond here as well.
Noticed your comment and thank you for it. I understand fully your point and can only hope you know the sadness we all feel around this decision and the circumstances that brought it about. Faith remains our strength and hope. I think the reasoning behind the decision is to protect people, among them the many fine and faithful people who might easily put themselves at risk in attending Mass.
I also agree that webcam etc is no substitute but it does aid the local side of ministry and allow some connection through familiar place and voice.
I wish I could say more but truthfully am struggling to just be these days. I wanted to answer you though. Your sincerity is beyond question. So too the faith behind it and the faith we continue to live and promote, even in a way and by means that are not our first choice.
Regarding church and The Blessed Sacrament, the doors are open and, as I mentioned I have really noticed people coming in their own time, spending time, lighting a candle and saying a prayer. This is a blessing and testament to the faith being lived on a daily basis. When I meet people, in this way, I am happy to talk with them and the abiding sense I have is of their acceptance of this being the appropriate response to our current and difficult situation.
We pray for each other and I ask you to pray for priests and parishes that our doors may truly open to all.
God bless,
Vincent
Vincent,
Please keep writing and recording your masses. We are enjoying them immensely during these difficult times. Our family enjoyed listening to your St Patrick’s Day mass especially. We look forward to sharing in your celebration on Sunday.
Regards,
Chris
Thank you for your words Fr Vincent. Keep writing and sharing Mass.
My auntie Winnie just shared this on Facebook.
Laura
Sydney, Australia
Thanks Laura, keep safe down there! My new phrase for each day is “we are a day closer to the ending of these days” – you are even a day ahead of us!! God Bless, V
Thank you fr. Vincent. Your mass is lovely recorded but looking forward to joining you in kilkelly again very soon, please God. Stay well.
Beautiful Mass Fr Vincent. Thank you.
Today was my Mothers 26th Anniversary of her death RIP. and was absolutely delighted to hear Mass and remember her during it.
Enjoyed, I am sure it brings comfort to many.
Take care of yourself Father Vincent.
When I was 10 years old I had a teacher who suggested that instead of giving up sweets for lent, we should consider getting up an hour earlier each morning and attend mass in the local chapel. She said something then that has stayed with me down through the fifty years from then to this, she said “it is very little for each of you to make the effort now to attend mass each morning but there might come a time in years to come when, unlikely as it might seem now, you will yearn to go to mass and not be able to”. Her words have been in my mind all week I never thought that I would be in this place but we are all in this together and it is not forever. If it saves the life of one of us then it is not in vain. Be strong.
Your blog is very good, and we enjoy reading it, as lewis Carroll wrote, “We read to know we are not alone”. You are keeping us together in prayer. Thank you
Fr.Vincent thank you for sharing the mass with us..sitting here with Mum and Dad..God Bless Lucia